Due to negligence or frustration we all sometimes say things that you regret and wish to never come out of our mouth. Words are like stones. Once you throw them, you cannot go back, and they can hurt someone.
Almost every parent has a moment to say something they later regretted, knowing that it hurt, made angry or confused his child. Words that can hurt should be avoided in parenting. Here are some of the things that you should be avoided saying it to your children:
Mirror your sister/brother/friend!
Parents with two or more children, you can often hear “Look your sister how smart and calm she is, look from her a bit”, “Look how nice your sister ties her shoes”…
If you compare your child with his brother or sister, then you are encouraging rivalry between them, opening room for more bickering and the emergence of jealousy. Even if you have such thoughts do not allow them to be spoken aloud.
Every child is different, having different character, temperament and has developed at a different pace. If you compare it with another child, it shows your desire to be different, so not only that you can confuse it, but you will make the negative influence of his confidence.
Leave me a little peace!
It is very easy your child to make you upset and you shouted at him “Give me 5 minutes to rest from you!” or “Leave me in peace!”. For example, you are on the phone or try to calculate the house expenses, but your child for the tenth time comes to tell you what happened with the toy. From time to time every parent needs a little space.
But the repetition of such harsh sentences does not send a positive message to your child and gives the impression that you do not want to talk to him and listen to his problems.
Bite your tongue and try to answer calmer. For example: “Mom has a work to do now, will talk in 10 minutes”.
Because I say so!
The question “Why?” parents often choose to answer “Because I say so” instead of giving lengthy explanations of their children. For example, the child asks why you cannot eat chocolate before dinner, and you instead to explain that it would reduce the appetite, that when hungry will eat more chocolate than you need, and you answer: “Because I said so”.
The words “Because I say so” sends him a message “I’m big, you are little… I have power, you don’t have… I say and you only need to listen to me”. The goal is your child to have respect for you and the things you say, not to consider you a dictator. Explain to your child why he was forbidden to do certain things and why forcing to do other things.
What do you know? You are a child.
For every child coming to a phase in which he thinks he knows everything. When children learn something new, they want to tell to all others who haven’t heard it. Sometimes inventing things, lying and telling false information. But if you repeat to him “You are a child, you still do not understand anything” in his head starts to spin thoughts like “Maybe I really do not know anything and I’m stupid”. Children do get wrong and your task is to teach them and educate.
Wait your father to know about this and you will see!
When children will misrepresent something, it is necessary to deal with the situation immediately so the children can realize that his action caused unwanted consequences. For example, when will hit his brother, you should immediately scold him, and not to wait your partner to return from work. While the father returns, the child is likely to forget what they did. Beside that threats like “Wait just to come back your dad” creates fear and anxiety in the child.
As a last thing, this type of discipline reduces your authority and sends a message to the child that he need to listen you less, and his father more.